Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Happy New Year!

Quick post to wish all and sundry a Happy New Gregorian Calendar Year. I had a good weekend which involved making sushi for family members and getting to the final table in schpat's first Poker Invitational. Fun.

I was thinking this weekend that Christianity is really the only religion that has it's own special anti-christianity i.e. satanism. Satanism as a religion exists only because christianity and the bible exist - without the existence of god and the angels, who the hell is lucifer anyway? More religions need this sort of thing, so this is what i propose:


Come on, you know it's the next big thing. Atheism and rationalism are not the anti-scientology, Xenuism is. I'm working on a list of ways to tell if you're a Xenuist. Here's the first few:

You know you're a Follower of Xenu if:
3) You think medicine is good and that doctors know more about how to treat sick people than religious leaders do.
2) You think psychology has helped many people overcome psychological problems that may have resulted in them becoming non-functioning members of society, harming others or harming themselves.
1) You feel an irrepressible need to tie Tom Cruise to a volcano and then blow him up with nuclear bombs.

I think that last one is particularly telling.


Blogger d@vid said...

I've often wondered who is this Xenu person anyway? - now, thanks to Xenuism, we'll be able to find out!

I'm glad to confirm that all the symbols of Scientology can be clearly and easily inverted - very important for any Manual of Xenu

are Thetans welcome in the Church of Xenu? surely they can't all be couch-hopping yobos?

January 03, 2006 5:56 PM  
Blogger totalwaste said...

another one - stonings and rules against entertainment in any form cause you stress...

January 08, 2006 6:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


A true Xenusian would never give up his / her Reactive Mind, as it's a pretty important BS-detecting piece of implant. In fact, Xenusians are born at OT level 15 and work their way DOWNWARD on the Bridge, in order to archieve an independantly running Reactive Mind. Of course, OT superpowers are already present in every Xenusian at birth. Yet, the use of OT Superpowers is frowned upon in this society, as they have become obsolete by the industrial revolution.

A Xenusian is proud of each and every Engram and collects these with ferver. It is a duty of all Xenusias to transfer excess Engrams onto a memory bank that has bad CRC's due to Dianetics and to assist Marcabian agents wherever they can. Don't take Xenuism as a joke, it's very serious business.

An enemy of Xenuism may be tricked, lied to or destroyed, without any discipline of the Xenuist.

June 04, 2008 3:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thought you'd like this:

June 13, 2008 12:43 AM  

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